I could write all day and all night and still not manage to fully convey my hatred of Ocean Colour Scene. It was only when I got a press release in my inbox today announcing yet another Irish gig – this time revisiting their second album, the godawful Moseley Shoals – that I realised I’d perhaps jumped the gun by kicking off this series with C******g C***s. Duritz and co. fill me with rapid bursts of rage, but OCS invoke a slow-burning, seething wrath.
Why are Ocean Colour Scene popular, especially in Ireland? Who keeps buying their tickets and albums, prolonging their career and therefore my misery? They belong on a Britpop has-been tour with Shed Seven, Reef, Cast and Embrace – not in the Olympia Theatre, and certainly not within a hundred-mile radius of a recording studio. They’re calling this tour ‘The Moseley Shoals Tour’, even though they’ve released seven albums since then – ha ha! If that doesn’t say it all…
I first remember hearing Ocean Colour Scene in secondary school, around the time that aforementioned album was released. Suddenly everyone was dropping their 2Pac CDs and getting their big brothers to play The Day We Caught the Train on guitar at parties. I feel a bit sick just thinking about it.
They’re one of the most drab, boring, uninspiring bands I’ve ever had the misfortune to hear, and the fact that they remain popular enough to gig here a couple of times a year actually makes me cross. Ocean Colour Scene make music for people who think they like music, but who actually just like getting drunk and singing along to the most basic chords imaginable. There is no beauty in their music. They irritate me by simply existing. There’s no point in saying ‘they should give up now because they’re irrelevant’ – they never were relevant to begin with. Music to drag your knuckles to.